Daily (Art Carney a.k.a., Ed Norton–style) Digital Life Litany for Protection, Direction and Stewardship

Caveat emptier: This post was drafted with help from an AI assistant (Perplexity)— but ideated and edited extensively by the human, Bill Acton

Wikipedia

Lord,
it’s just me down here in the “sewer” of the internet,
poking around the pipes and hoping
I don’t break anything important.

You know I’m the guy who means well,
hits the wrong button,
and suddenly the whole neighborhood’s
wondering what went wrong.

So first off—
give me a little common sense
before I start clicking like a man
digging without a map.

If a message looks funny,
smells funny,
or spells funny,
help me back away
instead of opening the floodgates.

Protect my buddies—
my family, my friends, my Ralphs—
from wild “get‑rich” schemes
and fake “official” notices.

Let me be the pal
who says, “Uh, maybe don’t do that,”
before they hand over the rent money
to some clown in another time zone.

Guard my accounts
like a good manhole cover:
solid, heavy,
not something any stranger
can just pry up and peek into.

Strong passwords,

two‑step checks,
and no sharing the keys
just because someone sounds friendly.

And when I do mess up—
because let’s face it,
I’m gonna—
give me the grace
to laugh, learn,
and fix what I can
without blaming everybody else.

May my stewardship
of this digital city
be a little like the best sidekick work:
loyal, good‑humored,
quietly keeping things flowing
so the whole block
doesn’t back up.

AI‑assisted creative work: This litany is an imaginative parody pastiche using generative AI. It imitates the public persona of [Art Carney] for commentary and devotional reflection. It is not created by or affiliated with [Art Carney], and should not be taken as his real views or words.

wracton@gmail.com
williamacton.legalshieldassociate.com (Legalshield and IDshield subscription information and applying for associate positions)